What is love if not happiness?

I was told that happiness is not what we feel on the inside, but rather what others can see from the outside. The more I hear this the more I feel it to be true. Think about it, if someone is happy they show this sparkle in their eyes, a brightness in their smile, and can’t contain their cheerful movement of dimples, lips, and the curves in their cheeks that others can obviously see. This idea of happiness moves me to believe that we can not only read if someone is happy, but if they are happy in a relationship as well.

How many people out there stay in an unhappy relationship because of money, children, fear of being alone, and whatever else there may be? I’d really like to know this, but my guess is there’s quite a few. I bring this up because it breaks my heart to know that others out there may never be truly happy in their life because of an unhappy relationship that ultimately takes over their entire life.

I’m one of the lucky ones as most would say. I found the love of my life in high school when he was in college and I was just finishing my senior year and going on to college myself. We’ve been together for over five amazing years. But, what about the other, less lucky individuals? How did they get to that point of being in an unhappy relationship and how do we fix it?

To fix what should be mended, we need to stop looking at the relationship itself and rather look at the individual or what the individual is bringing to that relationship. Are they bringing happiness? Meaning, are they in love? Happiness is supposed to come naturally, we cannot force it and we most certainly can see when one is faking happiness, at least some of us can see it, I being one of them. It frustrates me to see individuals fake this happiness and pretend their relationship is “happy.” Why keep lying? Is  it so hard to just say, “I’m not happy.”

I believe that everyone has a soul mate. Whether that soul mate is still with them, in heaven, or miles apart with a signed divorce paper. Soul mates are forever connected and nothing can break them apart, not even a piece of paper. Somethings are unfortunate, like divorce, but what’s worse is lying to yourself and pretending you’re happy. What’s so scary about being alone? Why are people so afraid to be alone when it’s probably the most wonderful thing to experience at some point. To know what love is, to lose it, and then to be alone. Alone. When we are alone we have time to think about what it’s like to be with someone. We have time to think about whether we were happy and if others could see it. It’s not scary, and sometimes it’s necessary.

Maybe I’m seeing love through rose-colored glasses. Maybe I’m creating love to be something worth living. Happiness is worth living for. I believe in non-stop searching. Searching hopelessly for the one, your soul mate. So, what is love if not happiness? Is it really a battlefield filled with emotions? Where you find yourself laughing and crying because you found the one. Is it crying because you don’t know how to live without the other person? Is love also sad because it shows true feelings? I say love is all of the above. Love is writings in the sand. One moment it’s here, and it’s only a matter of time before it’s washed away into the water where it dissolves forever, and only the memory, the soul lives on…

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Happy Birthday to a Special Friend! (Get Her Book For FREE!)

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When I transferred to a four-year college I had very few people that I knew, but then there was Jenna, who also transferred. She was an English major and I was a psychology major. My senior year I took an Outdoor Writing course with Jenna (my senior year being the best). She was working on writings that I as well enjoy. We became close and soon I was walking all over the University city to get fresh air with this petite and friendly blonde named Jenna. During winter breaks we would meet up for Starbucks and walk to a close by Reserve. And when the weather was hot, we’d walk downtown for soft-served ice cream! College was easier with someone who had the same career interests. She inspired me to create my own blog because of the amazing blog she has, The Jenna Devin Blog. With her inspiration and the help of my intuition, I wrote my first novel and learned what I truly love to do.

Today is Jenna’s birthday, and I would like to thank her for the great college experience. She is a true sweetheart that deserves the best. Today, I wish her a happy birthday! In honor of her birthday, Jenna is giving away her book, Reflections on Life From an Optimistic Romantic, for free in the Kindle version. She writes short stories, poems, and does photography. She is currently writing and searching for a career in editing. She is one true friend and I’m thankful to have had her in my college life.

Happy Birthday Jenna!

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“Explosions” (by a hopeless romantic)

 

Love. It is truly explosions whether it works or not. We cannot help who we fall in love with, just like Romeo and Juliet couldn’t be apart. They longed to see each other again, to feel those explosions. Love just happens. It is like an explosion. Sometimes, it blows up in our face unexpectedly. Other times, it’s magical and we hold on to it forever. Either way, when you love someone, you will love them forever, unconditionally, even if it does not work out. Some other time in some other world may it work out, but love, love is always LOVE.

Ellie Goulding’s song, “Explosions” is beautiful, and these are the explosions I am referring to. Explosions are the things that bind us to someone we love. They are the times we’ve had, the times we cannot forget, and/or the times we always think about. Maybe your hand only fits perfectly into that other person’s hand. Maybe the only shoulder that’s sturdy enough is that person’s. Whatever it is, that connection, that love, it is an explosion binding you to that person. When it’s love, you know it’s love. Love is not simply telling someone “I love you.” You will know this if you break up with someone and a month later you completely forget they live on the same earth as you. That is not love. Love is where you love them always, even if they’ve moved on. Like I said, sometimes it works out in our lifetime, but sometimes it does not.

Many might think, if it is love, it must work, or it has to work. This just simply is not true. Take for example my parents. Divorced, but will always love each other. There are just too many explosions, and I’ve heard them still, to this day, say they will always love each other. When I hear this, though, it makes me sad, yet happy. Happy they found those explosions, yet sad they could not keep them going. But that’s what love is. It’s not perfect! But sometimes, we can hold on to it. Maybe for ten years, maybe for fifty, where we are by their sides till the day we die. We have to be grateful for the time we’ve had, accepting those explosions like a tattoo on our heart. You wear them forever. They bind to us.

That is the kind of love I hope for. The kind of love I have, and will always hold on to. And if all of this sounds confusing, then you truly get it! That’s what love is…take for instance all of our favorite love stories…were they not all confusing? And let’s be honest…Romeo and Juliet did NOT have a happy ending, where they walked off into the sunset together with an infinite amount of time. Neither did my parents, neither did John Keats and Fanny, Noah and Ally in The Notebook, and what about the lovers in P.S. I Love You? What I’m saying is, maybe the EXPLOSIONS are more important then LOVE itself. Explosions stay with us forever, a piece of that love we can always hold on to, even when the other person may be gone. So even though all endings may not be two lovers walking together in the sunset with infinite time, at least we all can have explosions to go off into the sunset with, never alone.