Silver Linings In All That Changes

Summer is coming. I can feel it secretly in the air. It’s waiting to warm the ground and bring the colorful birds back. When I was younger, my mom would fill all the hummingbird feeders around our white porch. Dad would get beautiful blooming flowers and hang them near the feeders. My younger sister and I would put on our small bikinis and jump in the pool out back. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss that.

But life changes and people change with it. Whether its for the worse, the better, or just because. Sometimes it’s hard to understand change and all that comes with it. After each winter, we are faced with the change of people and we continue life in a new year. Then, comes summer. The grass grows, children play outside, birds chirp, the sun stays out longer, and our feet feel warm. It’s like the light at the end of the tunnel.

As this summer approaches, I am faced with three things. Different in every aspect, yet all a big change in someone’s life. And it seems all three come out at the same time. My dad will be getting remarried. My sister will be growing a baby bump. And finally, my mom will be losing her hair. I never thought I would have to see her go through something like this…breast cancer.

Do I think she is right for him? Do I think my sister is ready for a baby? Is my mom able to do this? To be honest…I really don’t know how all of this will work out. I’m just looking at the silver linings in all of it.

To start, my dad was lonely for so long after my mom. He works hard and wants someone to share his life with. So, however crazy she may seem at times, the silver lining is that my dad won’t be lonely anymore.

Next, my sister. She’s been lost searching for her purpose for years after high school. So much ambition, just not in college. She wants more from life…kinda how I feel now. Expecting a baby has changed her life in such a good way right now. This is only the beginning for her. And me? I’m the lucky one to be the Godmother and Aunt! I’m also planning the baby shower. Silver linings.

My mom. Someone who has always been there for me through thick and thin. When she was poor to when she was rich and poor again. She’s always known what to say. Finding out she has breast cancer has changed her daily life, almost instantly. This must be the tipping point. I’ve never seen her more ambitious. It is only the beginning though. Many months of chemotherapy are ahead of her. The silver lining here…I still have my mom at my side, and now it’s my turn to help her.

As summer comes, my mom will get sick, my dad remarried, and my sister will grow a baby bump. What will I do? I will plan a baby shower, plant my garden of beautiful blooms and whisper three times to the hummingbirds, silver linings, silver linings, silver linings.

 

What Makes Life So Sweet

 

As I find myself in a time where many may be stressed, being as I just graduated from college and am looking for a real job, I find myself at peace instead. I find that I’m taking it all in slowly. I came upon this quote from the lovely Emily Dickinson, that not only confirmed my feelings, but inspired me as well, “That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” I really believe in this quote. I’m only going to graduate from college once. Slowly taking in life changes makes this life experience so sweet for me.

With graduation comes change. Change is a good thing. It brings us something different, something better. And we should always welcome change because it shows growth. Moments like this, packing up all my belongings from my first downtown apartment, are bittersweet. I will never again live like a college student. I will never have my first apartment again, either. With change, comes the second apartment, my second adventure in a different city.

Sweetness, it is the excitement we all get inside. It is the anticipation for the next sweet thing. I anticipate the day I get my new apartment, just days away now. Leaving the college life behind, and entering the mature world. For me, I’ve already been in the mature world. I know the beauties in life, I know how to enjoy the small things and be grateful for what I have. My boyfriend has been my best friend throughout my college years. In two weeks we will be dating for five years. It’s been an amazing adventure we’ve gone on together. Now that school is done, we anticipate what’s to come. Adopting a precious cat is first on our list, and I am overjoyed with anticipation.

If we don’t get excited or feel joy when change occurs, when it’s done and gone it’s too late. What I mean is, we have to accept that joy and feel it, because it will be gone before you know it. I’m enjoying this wait. The wait before we get our new loft apartment. Sometimes, the excitement is even better then the actual event. But from my experience, excitement doesn’t ever dull if it’s real and something you want. Never let anyone dull your excitement either. If it sparks a light in you, then it’s real. I guess what I’m trying to say is: excitement, joy, and anticipation make life sweet, because before you know it, that moment will forever be gone.