What is love if not happiness?

I was told that happiness is not what we feel on the inside, but rather what others can see from the outside. The more I hear this the more I feel it to be true. Think about it, if someone is happy they show this sparkle in their eyes, a brightness in their smile, and can’t contain their cheerful movement of dimples, lips, and the curves in their cheeks that others can obviously see. This idea of happiness moves me to believe that we can not only read if someone is happy, but if they are happy in a relationship as well.

How many people out there stay in an unhappy relationship because of money, children, fear of being alone, and whatever else there may be? I’d really like to know this, but my guess is there’s quite a few. I bring this up because it breaks my heart to know that others out there may never be truly happy in their life because of an unhappy relationship that ultimately takes over their entire life.

I’m one of the lucky ones as most would say. I found the love of my life in high school when he was in college and I was just finishing my senior year and going on to college myself. We’ve been together for over five amazing years. But, what about the other, less lucky individuals? How did they get to that point of being in an unhappy relationship and how do we fix it?

To fix what should be mended, we need to stop looking at the relationship itself and rather look at the individual or what the individual is bringing to that relationship. Are they bringing happiness? Meaning, are they in love? Happiness is supposed to come naturally, we cannot force it and we most certainly can see when one is faking happiness, at least some of us can see it, I being one of them. It frustrates me to see individuals fake this happiness and pretend their relationship is “happy.” Why keep lying? Is  it so hard to just say, “I’m not happy.”

I believe that everyone has a soul mate. Whether that soul mate is still with them, in heaven, or miles apart with a signed divorce paper. Soul mates are forever connected and nothing can break them apart, not even a piece of paper. Somethings are unfortunate, like divorce, but what’s worse is lying to yourself and pretending you’re happy. What’s so scary about being alone? Why are people so afraid to be alone when it’s probably the most wonderful thing to experience at some point. To know what love is, to lose it, and then to be alone. Alone. When we are alone we have time to think about what it’s like to be with someone. We have time to think about whether we were happy and if others could see it. It’s not scary, and sometimes it’s necessary.

Maybe I’m seeing love through rose-colored glasses. Maybe I’m creating love to be something worth living. Happiness is worth living for. I believe in non-stop searching. Searching hopelessly for the one, your soul mate. So, what is love if not happiness? Is it really a battlefield filled with emotions? Where you find yourself laughing and crying because you found the one. Is it crying because you don’t know how to live without the other person? Is love also sad because it shows true feelings? I say love is all of the above. Love is writings in the sand. One moment it’s here, and it’s only a matter of time before it’s washed away into the water where it dissolves forever, and only the memory, the soul lives on…



The Butterfly’s chocolate on a hummingbird’s wing: Creativity

Have you ever heard of such a thing? Do you ever wonder what your brain is thinking when it comes up with these things/ideas? How is it my grandma actually believed that when it’s time for butterflies to migrate south they attach themselves on the wings of hummingbirds for the journey. It doesn’t matter how incorrect or off that sounds. How amazing is it to think that way?

Creativity is having no set limits on how you must think. Children have the most imaginable creativity at such young ages because they are just learning and are curious little blessings. So what am I saying with all of this? Being creative is being curious, unique, different, or yes, maybe even “weird” to some people. Ever notice how “weird” things, if intriguing enough, become popular?

It’s like a fashion statement you see or a song you hear and you tell yourself “nope, that is not cool.” But then a few days later you are singing along to it, or start loving that fashion statement. It’s like a love hate relationship. It’s called creativity…and it’s awesome.

To be creative, you have to clear you mind, or maybe not. Let your mind process and spit out the creativity to your conscious. Either way, let your brain be alive and weird, kind of like when you drink coffee. What if butterflies actually do attach to hummingbird wings to migrate to feed on fragrant blossoms like sweet chocolate to us? It would be pretty awesome, you have to agree. Even though it may not be real, to me, I will always see butterflies on hummingbird wings. Call it crazy, I call it creativity!

Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream: Making your way back home


Today is another Monday and while I may have been caught in the rain, I’m feeling pretty hopeful. With graduation approaching in just one month, and Henry and I weighing options for where we want to move once our lease is up, it can all get very heavy on my shoulders. But then Henry rests his hand on my back and buys me some mint chocolate chip ice cream, and the heavy air seems to be able to escape my lungs as I indulge in the creamy sweet treat. As a little girl, my grandma would always have this ice cream at her house, and I also was always at her house. Being a college student now, and about to graduate, is like being a smart newbie…with almost everything. There are so many options to look at, and what if you make the wrong decision? It could change your life forever…well, maybe.

One thing I have always wondered while in college is this: Why do I always get the feeling that I want to move back to my hometown when I’m finished? We leave home when we’re still kids, 18 or so and then follow our dreams, finding out who we really are. So, then why do we want to move back? Maybe it’s just the country talking in me, but I think we know who we are all along and what we want to do with our lives, whether it’s to become a nurse, author, or accountant. Going to college gives us some light, some guidance or courage in the right direction, and gives us so many options to choose from.

Four years of writing papers, doing homework, practicing speeches, taking exams, quizzes, and reading a million books has led me to this: What now? I think my reason for wanting to go home is simple. All my life, I’ve told myself I want to write a novel someday. Well, those four years of studying psychology and English predominately has led me to this. I’ve written my novel. I’ve completed it. It has opened my options, and I think that’s why it’s time to go home.

The Fourth Charm is my four years of college wrapped up as my own graduation gift. And very soon I will be starting my second novel in the series. Not all of us that go to college know what we want to do, but it seems I’ve known all along, I just needed the education to make it come true. So, if you’re like me and love eating mint chocolate chip ice cream and reading romance and chick-lit novels, then The Fourth Charm is your book. Enjoy your Monday everyone!

“Not all those who wander are lost.” -J.R.R. Tolkien

The Secret of Spring Cleaning

Crack those windows open, it’s spring time! Feel the fresh breeze flow through your home, softening the air and everything around you. Now is the time to buy the scents of lilac, lavender, and jasmine. Let the sun shine brightly through the open shades, and let the hearts of the beautiful Robin and mourning doves play their harmonious chirping through the screens and into your home, warming your heart as well. Houseplants secretly bloom, almost overnight, and continue their luscious life. If it’s time for a trim, get out the old mason jars and put the baby plants in there to grow, never throw them away (if they grow in water that is).

Happily, the winter coats shed off our bodies and into the closet. Spring cleaning? I say yes. Toss your hair back into a messy bun and look through that pile of clothes left in the back of your closet. Rip those sheets off and wash them, or better yet, replace them with a light spring color (lavender is my choice). Pair it with a white or cream duvet, and the new feeling is already half way there! So many have the winter blues, am I right? It seems almost everyone has them at some point if you live in an area where the weather is pure snow for three months.

Today, I start my spring cleaning, the day after spring officially is here. It may not take just one day, but starting one day is all it takes. Why is it we feel this new feeling in our souls, a refreshing breath of air when we do our spring cleaning? Is it the actual act of cleaning and organizing? Or is it psychological, like changing the color of sheets to match the weather? Here is the secret. We must continue our lives, changing like the seasons, because if we do not change, we feel everything around us has changed and it makes us depressed. So, my advice for spring cleaning–pick a color, and change! We go to sleep in our beds every night, and we also wake up in our beds. Change the color of your sheets and get that refreshing feeling that spring cleaning gives you. Trust me, it works!